There's just something about him..

Yesterday was such a chaotic day.. it seems like all we did was pack up more of the stuff from my apartment and move it over to our new place. It was so tiring, and you could tell neither of us really wanted to be doing it. We are pretty burned out with packing, and I think more so him than I because his work is more physically demanding and tiring than mine--and he hardly gets one day off a week, sometimes its only a few days off in a pay period. So, yeah, I know he's more tired than I. Also because he's the one that's hauling all the big stuff to the cars and what not. Poor guy.

Anyways, yesterday, we were at my apartment for atleast 2 hours packing up stuff from my cupboards, trying to get the last little bit that's left..and in the meantime, Trace would do these silly dances, he was in such an upbeat, illy, happy mood.. I couldn't help but laugh It was apparent that we would much rather be doing something else, as he'd say "man, I'm so burned out".. but then, the next minute he'd be doing some sort of disco-style booty popin. He is adorable. After packing stuff up, we loaded it over to our new place---he sat on the couch to take a small break which I refused to do cause I wouldn't get up if I sat down, and within 5 minutes he was passed out asleep. I let him sleep for about 15 miinutes and then couldn't help myself, I had to go sit and cuddle with him. He decided shortly after that he needed to go get coffee cause he was extremely tired and we still had a bunch of stuff to do--get drapes/curtain rods for each room, get new shower heads, and a water hose for our washer. We set out on our journey to find stuff for our new house, and ended up in the curtain aisle at Walmart for a good 45 minutes. Walking back and forth, grabbing different colors, brands, textures... tons of ideas going through our heads, getting a bit exhausted of the huge selection...or lack of selection. It seemed like when we'd find a style/color we liked, there would only be one left--and we'd need two panels. Man, it was getting crazy. I'd then try to offer another option and he'd just smile, say it was up to me, and started to get a bit stressed like I was. It was so cute, he wasn't getting angry or mad, you could just tell he was getting ancy, on edge I guess to say. After we decided on some of the rooms, we then walked over to the showerheads. We picked those out fairly quickly, and made our way back to the curtain aisle cause I realized that one of the curtains I was holding had been opened, and we had to find the curtain rods to hang them up as well. In doing so, I noticed another aisle of curtains--the energy ones we were looking for in the first place. So then, we ditched what we had previously decided on, and started our search again in finding the perfect colors, sizes, textures...and, when we'd find one, they wouldn't have an identical for the same size.. we spent another 30 minutes or so trying to find our new curtains. Then, we found some curtain rods, and as walking down the aisle a little farther, we found others that we liked a little better... Oh man, talk about a shopping experience. We decided to get the water hose for our washer a different day, and on the way home we stopped at Little Caesars because we didn't want to make dinner... and not only that, our kitchen is covered in dishes and food that still needs to be put away. But, we decided that we were done for the night. Even when we got home, he was in a good mood--you could tell he was so tired, so drained--but, he still was his fun loving, silly self.. Tackling me on the bed, chasing me around.. being lovable.. teasing me for silly things, making silly comments..he's an amazing individual, such a great man.

I love that.

I love who I am when I am with him.
I love who he is.

I love that I can be silly with him, and sometimes he's sillier than me!

There's just something about him that makes me smile. He makes that twinkle in my eye brighter.

I love him.
He's truly one in a million, and I'm extremely lucky to have him in my life.

New Beginnings!

As most of you know, the lease at my apartment is up at the end of the month..well, technically not until September 13th but that is because they gave me a notice to let them know less than 60 days before it was supposed to be over, and refused to let me out at the end of August, so I am now being prorated for the first half of September.. Annyyways, that's another story.
The good news is after I was stressing SO incredibly much trying to find somewhere within my budget to stay, find decent roommates, or just bite the bullet and move back to Price.. Trace and I decided to get a place of our own and we found a gorgeous house to call our own. Renting, of course. It is 4 floors, but it's not as big as it sounds--although, it's not as small as it looks either. There are three bedrooms, two bathrooms, two living areas and a study, which will be my craft room! I have wanted a craft room SO badly!! I am going to be able to paint, decorate, and create projects with plenty of space and not have to use up half of the time getting everything out and putting it away! I am SO excited.
Just wanted to give an update :)

Love is..

I went to a wedding reception last night (Congrats Sandy and Clint!) and I couldn't help but notice the difference in myself than when the last wedding I went to. I almost feel like a reality check happened, like, a light bulb turned on. It's almost as if I realized that we have all been mislead and encouraged to misinterpret what it takes to find "love" and how couples find that genuine happiness that I saw in Clint and Sandy as they shared their special day with so many friends and family. It was so beautiful to see such a couple so in love and so involved with each other--to see two individuals who have made that promise of love.. who are at the right time in their lives to share that.

Anyway, the light bulb.

"Love is a decision--not an emotion." -Anonymous

I ran into that quote probably a little under a week ago, and it struck me like a ton of bricks. It is so true. Love is an openly, willingly, admitted decision of wanting to stick through the hard times with someone, a promise to still be by someone's side even when times get hard.. you might even say love is almost like a miniature version of marriage vows. Feelings are definitely associated with wanting to be there for someone, yet, actually acting upon it and following through isn't solely based on love. Now, I know love can mean a variety of things for everyone--but I truly believe that love isn't this magical power that somehow makes life that fairytale that we all grew up with.. (Ariel, Belle, Cinderella...you get the idea). But maybe the whole fairytale idea isn't so far off, as love is actually a fairytale-- like, a fib.. a little lie.. a secretly evolved feeling of happiness.. to help us all get through the day.
Love isn't only an attraction to someone, it's also about timing..where you're at in life and if you can puzzle piece your lives together to create one bigger, more detailed.. more beautiful picture. Love is like art. Sometimes people aren't ready to actually intertwine their paintings they have created on their own, which is why it doesn't work out... You can completely admire someones life... the time and dedication they put into creating such vivid colors in their picture or whatever it might be, but, it still might not feel right in mixing or pairing it with the painting of life you've created.
Love is so much more than just "love". It's almost unexplainable, and you can only truly realize what it is if you've been through some horrible situations to help you develop a knowledge base of experiences.. But, maybe that is only my reality or view because of all the challenging relationships I have been through--maybe people who only fall in love once still know the definition of love and have just as much of a hard time figuring out that love is work.
Now I don't want this blog to sound negative, because that is far from what I am trying to have it be. I am actually just writing from a very mature state of mind.. and it's amazing to me how many realities seem to just, slowly turn on in my mind.. those "ahh" moments, where you realize that this is what the "grown-ups" meant all along.

"All experience is an arch, to build upon." -Henry B. Adams