I love my Rascal. :)

I love Rascal.

He honestly is so dang cute and spunky, I just love him to pieces. Constantly I hear about how he is so well-behaved, so smart, or simply so lovable. He seems to grab the heart of anyone he is around, and his personality shines so brightly.. he is so playful and cuddly. He is my pride and joy, as silly as that sounds, and I love him with every little bit of me. I can't imagine my life without him, and I wouldn't want to even think about where I'd be if I didn't have him to stand by me through these past 4 1/2 years. He is amazing. He has stayed right by my side, and sleeps right next to me every night--sometimes even snuggled in to me if he gets cold. I love having such an amazing little dog, I couldn't ask for anything more..he's been amazing. He is so thankful for new toys, treats, and even cuddle time with Mommy...I looooveeee him. I can't even say it enough, he is so stinkin amazing!

It's true too, he's quite the amazing lil dog--full of tons of love. He has a heart that is 2 1/2 sizes too big, which gave him quite the breathing complications this past year. At first, I didn't know what was going on with him or why he'd go into his gasping for air fits, but after a few Veterinarian visits and x-rays, they discovered that his heart was so big it was pushing on his trachea, therefore trapping his airways and making it difficult for him to get oxygen. He had to get antibiotics and some other medications to help the swelling stop, but his heart will never "shrink" back to size again. He's my little doggie full of nothing but love---so that is my logic about how lovable and so stinkin amazing he is. He has been through a lot, not only with me and my trials, but as his own little self. I am so proud of him.

Rascal, I love you soOOoOOOooO much.

And, as I write this, he lays right next to me...I want to go cuddle him for a little bit, so that is what I am going to do. He is growling and barking in his sleep, sometimes whimpers too.. It is absolutely adorable. He just makes me smile. Every day.

I just wanted to share with you all just how amazing my little dog is. I have never been so attached to an animal before, this little guy has been my sunshine through many shady paths. He is my little angel. Aww I love him.

And here is a picture I took last week-- he just looked extra adorable that day, I couldn't resist.


This little guy is responsible for keeping me sane, and being the bestest friend under 15 pounds anyone could ask for.

I'm right where I need to be.

As I've been going through each day for these past few weeks, I've noticed something which has made me feel very happy and content with where I am at in life. For the past few months I've had struggles with where my life trials and situations had taken me, and I was having a very difficult time trying to figure out why I was where I ended up, and what even got me there in the first place.

It is so peaceful and soothing to be able to finally say I have gained an enormous amount of knowledge in regards to who I am--not only as a person, but as a friend, a sister, a daughter, and as a hopeful individual reaching for a dream to help others on more of a deeper level as a counselor. I feel I have truly found my path that really fits who I am and what my goals are within my life. It is so great to be able to genuinely know that I have used all of the struggles, pain, and frustrations in my life as a positive guidance to lead me where I will be able to utilize and draw back from it when helping others. Every trial I had to go through has had a purpose, and even in my daily life right now it has proven to help others in similar situations.

It inspires me more than I had ever even imagined it would.. I feel that helping others is a natural sense to me-- Sometimes I can see an individuals true feelings without having even the slightest clue that anything is wrong. With this, I always have the desire and urge to help people who are in emotionally draining, frustrating, trying times.

Anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say here is I feel like I have finally began to see some of the light that has been waiting to shine through all of these major turn points in my life. I have changed my life almost completely, surrounding myself with people who I can relate to and who are true to their words--allowing myself to walk away from bad relationships and friendships which only seemed to be weighing me down. Selfish people used to have their place in my world, and now I have realized that the energy they all were taking from me wasn't nearly worth it just to have someone around, or have someone to call.

I think that takes a huge amount of courage, to face the fear of change and do it anyway.
Ahh, it feels so nice though.

Now, back to studying and homework.
:)

These are the days we'll always remember.

Well, there goes another weekend. I swear they go by WAY to fast lately.

I had Bonham this weekend and we had a good time. I took him to the Utes game yesterday as his birthday present, man was it cold! It rained the entire first half, and by the end of the third quarter we decided to go home--the Utes were definitely going to win and we were definitely too cold to wait for it to happen. So, we came home, and made some grilled cheese sandwiches with noodle soup to help us warm up. It was a good day, he even told me that on the way back home riding Trax. "Today was a good day, Sissy." It definitely made me smile. That little boy has more of my heart than I think he'll ever know, I love him so very much.

We didn't take many since it was so wet and cold, but here are a few of the pictures from the game.

This was BEFORE the rain started coming down like crazy:

Isn't he just so handsome?!

Go Utes!--Sportin' the spirit in a Poncho..

What a goofball..this is my little brother for ya.

And, last but not least..this is us after the rain started to mellow out:

I hated having to take him back down to Provo to meet my dad and give him back, but I guess it's what we gotta do. It's hard living a few hours away from my family(ies), but I know it always could be worse. I can't imagine not being able to actively be involved in my siblings lives--they are my world.

Sometimes it's hard looking back on how my life has turned out completely different than I had expected--but I have realized that if it didn't work out this way, I wouldn't have been able to have the amazing opportunities I have had. I wouldn't have been able to dedicate so much of my time and love to both of my siblings, Sarah and Bonham, if life had turned out the way I was planning. I am so very happy and proud to be able to say I am truly trying to be the best sister I can to both of them. I just hope it holds true for them, and I am able to continue to do so. Honestly, I probably have a few of the most amazing siblings anyone could ever ask for--and with them I have developed and helped create long-lasting, incredible emotional bonds that I believe will never, ever be broken. :)

One checkmark at a time, the list will SLOWLY melt into nothing.....hopefully!

Today was a fairly good day actually. Although I am super overwhelmed with everything right now, it feels nice to know I have completed even just a few of what is on my HUGE to-do list. :) I feel accomplished...even though I have a ton more to do.. One step at a time Nicole! I tend to overwhelm myself, because I think too far ahead into the future and stress about stuff that doesn't necessarily need to be thought about right now--but, that's who I am I suppose.

Graduate school application is that much closer to being done---which means that the GRE exam is that much closer to being taken, YIKES! I must get my brain in the mood to start absorbing the information in both of the books I have bought, as well as Annie's. C'mon brain, you can doooOoo it. hah. We'll see about that.

I have been having some hard times lately with some flashbacks and realities of the experiences I've been faced with, both in the distant and close past. I have been trying to deal with them as they come, but some are harder than others. I'm not sure how to take all of this, but all I know is it's leading me to be more confused and frustrated as they keep coming up. I dunno, I know I'm strong enough to conquer all of this--but one of my fears is if I keep proving to myself that I can do such amazing things, and get through some unimaginable struggles on my own--and relationships have proven to be nothing but brutal, horrible pain for me-- what if I end up alone, subconciously by choice? Just something I've been thinking about..

Anyway, Rascal is laying next to me passed out, and I'm starting to become jealous of how comfy he looks. I'm getting tired, and it's picture day tomorrow at work! (Us teachers get a HUGE packet of our pictures for free, I guess--therefore I'll probably be using them for my Graduation in May...well okay, maybe not--but I could! haha)

Til next time! :)

I need a personal assistant/maid

I swear, my mind is twisted and being pulled in about 15 different directions at this point in time right now. I am so overwhelmed with homework, tests, papers, and graduate school applications I could scream. I am honestly really nervous about it all, but hopefully I can get it all pulled together.

I registered for the GRE today--that's $160 bucks spent. Taking the test November 19th--and DANG the review books are pretty scary-- I am hoping to start studying AT LEAST one hour a day if not more, then hopefully I can get to where I feel more comfortable and confident in taking it. Wish me luck!!!

With everything going on right now, I feel like all of the other stuff in my life has been put on hold--housework, dishes, laundry....Rascal. He definitely needs a bath, but I just have no time to give him one. I feel so torn into pieces and being pulled every which way, man I'm sure it'd be easier if I had someone else to help me with all of it.
That's why I've decided I'm accepting all offers of help until the chaos simmers... ;)

Just kidding--if only it were that easy!
Well, it's already 10pm, I swear there is never enough time in the day!
6:15 comes early.
Sweet dreams!

Graduate School!

What a better way to begin my new blog, the new insight and chapter of my life..I have officially began my application into the Graduate Program of Professional Counseling at the University of Utah.

After quite a bit of pondering and internal debating on whether or not it was the right thing to do at this point in my life, I had decided to follow my instincts and submit my application for Fall of 2011. This will be directly following my graduation for my Bachelors Degree of Human Development and Family Studies in May of 2011.

Wish me luck!
I am a little intimidated because of the acceptance rate this program has (they accept 6-10 people out of an average of 75 accepted), and the financial stresses that might come along with continuing my education on a higher level, but I honestly believe it will be worth it in the long run.

It is crazy to think that I have actually began my application into Graduate school-- honestly if you would have asked me two years ago if I saw myself reaching out for such an accomplishment, I would have said no. It is amazing where life can take you, even when you have another idea of where you were going. I never imagined myself to be at such a level of academic pride and confidence to be able to apply for Graduate school, and I am very glad I have reached this point. I just hope I can get a decent score on the GRE test I will be taking Mid-November, and I can pull off a decent Personal Statement for my application.

Thanks to Annie, I think we have a good chance with the GRE test, we'll be studying together and cramming for this whole thing--and celebrating once it is all over! If it wasn't for her, I think I would have been too overwhelmed to continue this whole process for Graduate School and probably gave up because of the fear of doing it all alone. I am so thankful she is going down this trail with me--she has been a huge support.

Anyway, graduate school application is on the way to being completed--signing up for the GRE tomorrow, and still have to complete and stay fully focused and dedicated to the courses I am currently taking to get a good GPA and stay on track for graduation. What a crazy, crazy time this is.

I am thankful I have the ability to throw myself into all of this chaos, for it isn't an ugly chaos.. It is a very exciting, new, challenging situation and I am so excited to be able to get it all finished and feel that I gave it my best shot.