Awake.

I think I've snapped out of the slump I was in--it took only a few realizations for me to finally understand why I was there, and how I didn't want to be there anymore. It feels nice, and I think things can only be gettin better from here on out. :) I'm so thankful I'm such a strong person!
Anyways, starting tomorrow, a co-worker and I are going running Monday-Thursday mornings before work! YAY! I can't wait.
SooOOoo I need to go to bed. :D
I'll update later!
Woot!

thoughts of the day

"You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." -Mark Twain

Sometimes our outlook on life changes when we get a new view, a new insight of what the world really is like. Sometimes, when we're so busy thinking something---another something gets completely disregarded and minimized because our imagination has taken such control...almost like a twisted reality.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just, searching for whatever it is I think I want. Oooh, perfect place for another quote..
“You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need."- The Rolling Stones
How do we know the difference? It's amazing how life throws silly curve balls at you, isn't it? Not sure which way to run or where exactly to throw the ball next.. gotta just keep on keepin' on, and eventually we'll get to where we're supposed to be--or at least get to where we're going.

I thank you all for being here for me in some of the most difficult times I've had to overcome in my entire life.. some of these situations I truly thought I would never have to plow through-unaware and completely unprepared... but I made it, or well, in some aspects.. I'm still making it. It's great to know who your true friends are, who will be there for you in times when you truly need someone there the most. I'm really thankful that I have a handful who truly will be there when I am in need. :)

"Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it."-Swedish Proverb

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”

Ah.. I need to vent.

I have wanted to post a blog for so long now, but life hasn't given me the opportunity to really sit down and be able to do so. When I blog, I like to have it all come from my heart and soul--having no other distractions to limit my words. And, although I'm sitting in the middle of class right now, I feel like right now is as good time as ever to update my blog.
Life can slow down any minute down..I'm just waiting for it to calm down. I swear..I have never felt so busy in my entire life. I have been going crazy lately---I feel I have no time for anything anymore. It's been really eating at me..I'm loosing my energy, my spunk, my happiness... I have no time to be anything but stressed and worried about when my next test is, when my next paper is due, and stay on top of trying to absorb all of the information given in class.. Oh, and make sure I get to work at both jobs on time.. (Last week I was an hour and a half late to job number two.) When I'm not playing catch up in my schoolwork and attending my shifts at work, I am trying to clean up and keep my apartment at a livable environment, laundry, and try to get some "me" time.. and that's all very rare. I honestly have no time to push that reset button to help me feel more energized and ready to start it all over every week. It is really draining me out. I'm trying to keep movin along with a smile--but dang it gets so tiring.
Aaanndd.. If I'm not doing that, I'm worrying about some crazy ex I have who will randomly decide to come to my house at 2am knocking on my door....while I freak out and call the cops because I don't know who it is---and still won't leave once I figure it out--until the cops get there and order him to do so. (yep, this happened..Saturday night.) Now, this story is one all of it's own, but it is definitely part of my stresses..as I haven't talked to him for over six months (because I blocked ALL ways of contact--phone numbers, emails..). I'm afraid he'll keep trying to contact me because of the way he had to leave that night--and I have no desire to talk to him.
Gah, talk about stressful. All around my life seems to be turning upside down, or maybe it's just that I have no time to feel that it's right side up. It's driving me absolutely cccrrraaazzzyyy! I just wish I had someone to help me keep my sanity, to hang out and remind me that life isn't as chaotic as it seems and to help me escape awhile.
Speaking of escaping, I have been thinking about something I can do to help me gain sanity on my own--as, I unfortunately have decided that sometimes others aren't as reliable as I'd like them to be. One of my thoughts is attempting to learn guitar again. I was learning on my fathers guitar years ago, and although I didn't play for over 3 or so months, I felt like I was catching on so quickly and I was loving having the ability to strum a few strings and escape into the mood of some of my favorite songs. I wanted my father to help me learn, but he was always too busy to help teach me some of the basics..and it got more difficult with my own schedule to help keep up with it as well. But, I have been thinking long and hard--and I might want to get a starter pack of my own. Have my own guitar, and pick it up when I have a minute or two, or when I have a hard day...stressful situations...and that might help? I don't know--still pondering the idea, because although it sounds amazing, I'm limited on time as it is and I don't want to add to that either. Blahhh!
Ahh, I can't wait for this semester to be over---and although I still have no idea what I'll be doing afterwards in regards to having both jobs still, or continuing onto my Masters (if I'm accepted)---I'm super thrilled I have actually came to this point in my educational career--I never thought I was really "programed" to achieve so much academically.
Well, should probably go back to listening in class.
I'll post when I can.