Amazed

Three years ago this past Thursday night I single-handedly totaled my new, short lived Kia Sportage... I was in an emotional rush to try to get to Price through Indian Canyon and "save" what I thought was my life--oddly, if I would have lost control not even ten more feet down the road, it would have undoubtedly taken my life. When I lost control, I let go of the wheel and grabbed Rascal to hold onto him, preparing for whatever it was that was going to happen. Instead of rolling down the 1300 foot drop, my vehicle did it's 360 degree turn, landed on the other side of the road, and started to roll, but landed in a snowbank...right side up. Only the passenger side was affected.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't stop to reflect just how thankful and happy I am still here today-- I walked away with a pretty bad concussion, back problems, and an experience that truly changed my life..It could have been so much worse. Never, ever, ever take anything for granted.. I thought I was invisible and nothing like that would happen to me--but reality hit hard--I was able to walk away from it.

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life." -Zig Ziglar

Graduation Announcements!

I finally ordered my graduation announcements! It is so crazy to think it's really here--almost seems surreal! I am so excited, and I hope they turn out as well as I think they will!

Life has nothing but a chaotic mess lately, in so many ways than one.. but I am SO grateful to be able to say I'm graduating in May! :D

A bunch of random thoughts.

I wonder...

How life sometimes seems to circle around me as I stand still?

How I don't regret some of the most painful times in my life?

Why do I look at people, who are my age, and sometimes feel like I'm not as "old" as them..while others I look at and feel I'm not as "young"?

How life can change in what seems like an instant, although, it was in fact more of a gradual thing?

Will I ever get what "I want"? Do I even know what that is? And if I do, am I afraid of actually getting it? Sometimes the repetition of something so expected is so comfortable, that I tend to become fearful of stepping out of that comfort zone.. this can't be a good thing. It's almost like I'm afraid to grow? Or is this just me being more cautious because of previous experiences I've had?

Why does chocolate taste so dang good? I mean really--what is it about it that I crave? Geez.

Why is it easier to gain weight than it is to loose it? That's not very fair..

Am I really graduating this semester? It seems surreal to me--I don't want to be a grown up. Yet, I think maybe I already am? Or am I? Is this where my life truly begins..or is it just a continuation of when it already began? When does a life begin?

Why is it easier to read a book when you're not expected to for a class?

Why does sunshine make such a difference? I love sunshine, it makes me happy.. the warmth, it's just--a great feeling. But why would temperature and amount of sunlight make a difference with internal emotions? Crazy!

Will I ever stop biting my nails!? Ugh! It's frustrating..

Where will I be in five years? Heck, what about two years? It's crazy to reflect back on where I've been, where I've wanted to be, and where I thought I'd be.. oh how things can change.

These are just a few of the random questions I have right now. Maybe I'll expand on some of these ideas later, as some really reflect some internal confusion I'm having right now. I just wanted to blurt some of it all out before I forget it all. :D

I want to travel the world.

Why does it cost so much to travel? I honestly find nothing else more soothing, comforting..and self-rewarding than traveling. It is one of my passions, and I truly wish I could travel more often than I do. I want to see the world. I dream of visiting different countries, different cultures, different lifestyles-- and intertwining myself within them, taking in all of the memories, lessons, and experiences they would bring me. I want to live, I want to feel like I'm accomplishing my life dreams--living with no regrets. I just wish it wasn't so dang expensive. I don't know how to accomplish this, but I know I will--someday.

I have such a list of places I'd love to visit---I want nothing more than to live my life, and experience the knowledge of other people around the world. There is SO much more out there, I don't want to be stuck here...I have my whole life to be stuck in one place. The world is SO big, yet, SO small all at the same time. It's crazy to think that just with a few simple steps, I could be on my way across the world--of course, I would need money-- but just knowing that traveling is so much easier now than it was years ago makes me hopeful.

Traveling brings me a sense of happiness, a sense of peace--I love learning, exploring, and broadening my understanding of not only myself, but others too. I almost feel like I have one of those wild souls, always wanting to develop more through adventures and discovery.

Somehow, I'll find a way to travel more often. If only I could find out the secret of how everyone else who travels and stays on top of their finances...