Thanksgiving

Well, I haven't posted for awhile and it is just because things have been so hectic with the holiday and all of that. I'll update some of the major points that have happened. :)

I went to the Jazz game with a friend from work on Monday night, it made for a long day--but it was definitely worth it. I had a really good time, I'm glad I was able to make it! While I was riding Trax from campus to the Arena, a younger couple, probably about 18 or 19 years old, sat on the seat directly in front of me, sharing my leg room. They looked homeless, and the boy kept pulling out white hand warmers and putting them up to his cheeks and neck. They didn't smell too clean--who knows when they showered last--and they were talking about where they were both going to stay for the next few days. The girl said she had somewhere in Taylorsville to go if he was sick of her, and he said he just didn't really know where to go and he did need a break from it all for awhile. I'm not sure what else was said, I didn't want to be too obvious in trying to listen in to their conversation, but it really made me...sad. It made me wonder what had happened to make these two young adults end up in the place they were at. I don't know if they were homeless, or just runaways, or what the story was--but it just made me think, I guess. I'm really glad I have an apartment I can come "home" to.

I was planning on going to Price for the holiday on Wednesday after class, but on Tuesday my work (the Pingree Center) shut down half day because of the blizzard warning, and my class that night was also canceled. I decided to drive down on Tuesday, and I beat the "storm". It wasn't as bad as I thought, but it is always better to be safe than sorry.

I had a good holiday for the most part. My older step sister and I didn't really talk, she seems to have some sort of issue against me-- I'm not sure what it is, but it's gotten worse over the years. I used to really want us to get along, but I'm to the point where I don't even care anymore-- She and I are just two very different people, and I wouldn't really choose anyone of her kind to be friends with anyway--it's a long story. Other than that, I had a great time. On Thanksgiving I hung out with my little sister, and my niece..we played on the wii. We had dinner, and then shortly after had some pie. This was the FIRST year in...umm..well... atleast 10 years that I didn't jump between families and houses to celebrate and share Thanksgiving with each of them--my Step Mom was working, and my Dad was with his girlfriends family in a smaller town about 35 minutes away from Price..

That evening I went to visit my Step Mom, or well, my Ex-Step Mom, who is still my Step Mom in my opinion, at her work. She works at a nursing home, and while I was there she introduced me to all of her favorite patients. I had a really good time visiting with all of the elderly, some were easier to understand and visit with than others, but it was a really big eye opener for me as well. One old man in a wheel chair told me how beautiful I was, reached for my hand, and pulled me closer to him so he could kiss me on the cheek. He told me he was going to steal me and put me in a cage. It was really cute. Other old ladies were complimenting me on my achievements that my step mom bragged about on my behalf, and it was really comforting and warmed me all up inside. The one old man who kissed me on the cheek asked what I was going into for school, and when I said counseling he said he already had four of those things, but he'd choose me over them any day. It made me laugh. And very hopeful for when I do become a counselor, I can't wait to help individuals in need and make my small imprint in the world..help make a difference. I went home in a different mood. When I had left my Mom's house, I was frustrated about the tension I felt with my older sister, and I couldn't believe the energy that was put in to ignore any topic about or towards me. I can't imagine how draining it would be to try to subtly make comments directed to someone without making it completely obvious you were trying to put them down.. it's amazing to me. Anyway, I left in a blah mood--and just finding the happiness within this nursing home and the conversations and visit I had with my Step Mom, it just, made me realize quite a bit. I'm so happy I'm who I am, and I can be just as successful no matter who acknowledges it. My life experiences have helped sketch the person I have became, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love being independent and humble, it's such an amazing feeling to have--being proud of yourself is something I'd never, ever change.

This Thanksgiving was very different compared to ones I had years before.. as I said, it was the first one in many many years I didn't jump between family dinners.. I was able to sit and relax, and not worry about getting to antoher dinner in time or missing an important tradition. It's amazing how families can change so quickly, isn't it? One moment you can think nothing could be better--and the next you're scrambling trying to find common ground, a secure and stable factor to try to keep the family you hold so close, even closer. All of the chaos I've experienced with my families, though, I have to say I'm grateful for. I wouldn't wish any of it on anyone else, but I'm glad I can relate and have had some amazing lessons and life long learning experiences with them all. This year, I can say I'm thankful for my family--which has been hard for me to say in previous years. I've always been resentful and frustrated with the family struggles I was placed in, and I never understood or could figure out why I couldn't even have one stable family to be by my side through the years. What I've realized now is that although one family hasn't been able to be consistent through my life, I'm thankful I have had a family nonetheless. Some people aren't lucky enough to even have one parent by their side, let alone a family. I am grateful and very thankful to have families around--and with their experiences I've learned a great deal..

I'm also thankful for my health. Visiting that nursing home really made me think, and honestly made me a little scared. One lady in the nursing home has never been married, has no kids, and is honestly just--alone. She has severe OCD and it really made me think about where I want to go in life, and how sometimes things just don't work out as planned. No one ever "expects" to become 65 and have Alzheimer's, or become 70 and not be able to take care of themselves...at least, not that I am aware of. What if we knew where we would be in 50 years if we kept living the life we currently portray out on a daily basis right now..what if we knew what our future held, if we would end up with a fatal disease, or if we would battle cancer...what if? I truly think people would live differently if this knowledge was available.. yet, I really think people take their days for granted, and don't stop to realize how amazing it is to be alive and healthy, without some of the medical struggles others have to constantly conquer on a daily basis.

"Live each day as if it was your last."

I really am going to try my hardest to live by this statement, as sometimes I let my past influence my future...when in reality, the memories of the past live only within myself--and I can choose to build away from them, or allow them to stay active and influence the rest of my life. Little things can make a huge difference, and I know if today was my last day to be alive, I would have done things a lot differently, and same with yesterday--and the day before that.

Anyway, I hope you all had an amazing holiday and had safe travels. Hopefully you didn't eat too much, and you can still button your pants! :)
I'm back in SLC and I'm sitting here on my couch with a cup of hot chai tea and some homework in front of me.. oh and Rascal is snuggled up right next to me on the left side--I think he's happy to be back home. I'm excited to have him back home with me, that's for sure. But anyway, I'm trying to get the motivation to begin at least one of my papers--but I'm honestly just wanting to be a couch bum and put in a good movie to watch. Maybe I'll finish revising my first Learning Analysis paper and then pop in a movie..... ahhh or maybe.... ahh
Maybe I'll stop blogging and be that much closer to my homework---I can't keep procrastinating!